Dancing Through the Law

Metro Sucks

2006-06-19T16:22:00.000-07:00

Well, today was FUN. I had my commute go from forty minutes ish to TWO AND A HALF HOURS. That's right. At least I was not wearing a suit today - I wore jeans and a tank top to work since it was going to rain and I was basically the only one there.

I was at the Metro around 4:30 today. Someone was sick at AU on the Red Line. No trains running - a delay of "ten minutes." Sure.

At 5:17 PM the first train came by. Problem: it didn't go to the end of the line, only Grosvenor (a few stops down). OK. I can wait.

Seven more trains. One got my hopes up - but then it changed from end of the line to a few stops down before my eyes. People are building up on the platform. They are single tracking the trains.

Finally, one for me. We're crammed like sardines. My forehead is against a hard metal pole, and this woman's purse is jamming my back. We go one stop. The doors jam open. We offload, amidst cursing and muttered threats.

Another train comes by. Not to the end of the line. An end of the line comes. Packed to the gills - maybe four people get on in front of me. I almost get stuck because some guy tries to push us both on - when there is no room. After the train leaves, I almost fall into the tracks.

Yet another train goes by. Then I get on a train! Small problem with this train. No lights, no air conditioning, and packed to the gills too. No matter - off we go, bumping into people. I love the smell of angry federal employees.

We get out of the tunnel to the open air. It's raining, and the metro car I'm in leaks. Not on me (since I'm rather short and a big tall intern was hovering over me). He got soaked, and he made a pretty good umbrella.

Actually it was really funny since he kept trying to hit on me. He was very obviously 1) not from here and 2) not even 18. I told him that I was way too old for him and had a boyfriend. He didn't believe that I was too old (I look maybe 17 most days - sad but true - it's the long ballet hair I think). Finally I told him I was an attorney and to buzz off. Then he believed me. And it turns out that I used to work with his dad at NIST. I thought he looked familiar. Then he was grossed out.

BTW, if you get grossed out that way, don't call your dad within hearing distance of me! I know who you're talking to!

In other (slightly related) news, this weekend I took my little sister (six years younger) to lunch. The people there got really confused - they thought we were twins. Which was nice, in a way. But then they thought my ID was fake. Which was a whole other issue.

Turning Down a Job

2006-05-15T15:19:00.000-07:00

I turned down a job today. It seemed like a really good fit. I really liked the office, the work I'd be doing, and my commute would have ROCKED. But there were two problems: salary and driving.

Surprising, the salary wasn't the big thing. I think I could have gotten it raised to what I'm earning now, so that was almost a non-issue.

But the driving? I applied to a place that is ONE BLOCK from the metro. And my boss wanted me to drive into work every day so I could drive to the courthouses!

Oh, no. Oh hell no. I do not drive on the Beltway. DO NOT EVER.

And so I turned down a job I probably would have liked alot, based on my fear of gridlock. I'm that person that you hate - the one who goes the speed limit exactly and is too scared to really move. So I avoid highways and stick to good old country roads. I feel more secure on them (esp. since my car shakes at 55). In a way, this is good for all those people who hate drivers like me on the highway. At least I know to stay off of it.

Best Boyfriend

2006-04-28T03:41:00.000-07:00

I think I have the best boyfriend in the world. He passes the bar, and I get flowers! So sweet.

Toilet Times Two

2006-04-27T17:34:00.000-07:00

Why is it that today I had to explain to a thirty five year old man that a dixie cup on a stick will not unclog a toilet? And that it's the SECOND time he's done something so stupid and we've had to call a plumber? Further, since we have a perfectly decent plunger, why not use it?

At least my co-worker who isn't really licensed as an attorney left. Thank goodness. She freaked me out just by being there - I felt dirty just being in the same room. (yeah, I know... I got some problems, but eh).

Oh, and it appears that chicken pox is running through the studio... the week before recital. Just what I've always wanted. And although I've had it, my brother hasn't. And he's in like five dances and my mom pulled him out. Paranoid.

Back to Square One

2006-04-18T11:09:00.000-07:00

So. Interview was cancelled.

I don't understand why they would offer me a job I'm not qualified for, then get mad at me for not being qualified? (It was for a transfer position). I'm baffled.

And now I'm trapped.

Small Annoyances

2006-03-30T12:37:00.000-08:00

So Bubbles and her clique decided to go out for drinks today. And while I don't want to join them, it REALLY bugs me that they invited everyone else in the office by name if they wanted to go - except me. So it's more of a let's-not-talk-to-lawdancer thing. Not cool.

Honestly, they are so annoying at work it makes me want to scream. Today, they discussed every pair of jeans they own, and how their boyfriends don't have nice enough jeans. How boring. Luckily I'm in another room actually working, so I can tune them out for the most part.

But still . . . it reminds me of high school. Particularly since these aren't the most ethical girls. Well, at least one of them (who pads her time sheet and still isn't licensed. It is so hard to treat her with any kind of respect, because I have none for people like her. I wish that she would face some kind of consequence sometime for it, particularly as she pretty much drifts through life, capitalizing on her parent spoiling her.)

I need to get out of here as fast as possible. Preferably to a place where they only hire licensed attorneys.

Hurricanes

2006-03-22T07:02:00.000-08:00

So, I have a co-worker who says she lives in New Orleans (which I confirm she didn't - she lived there when she was eight, years ago). And today she goes on and on about the damage and her family and how they reacted - except for the fact that SHE HASN'T BEEN BACK, AND HER FAMILY ALL LIVES UP HERE AND HAS FOR YEARS.

And my co-workers are hanging on her every word.

But when I started working here and the hurricane hit, did they care? No.

When I came back from visiting New Orleans a few weeks ago, did they want to know anything? No.

So instead of hearing truth, they are listening to how all people from New Orleans are stealing, lying crack whores who loot everything they can touch (her words - not mine). I know that's more interesting, but still. I find it incredibly annoying.

Y'Know

2006-03-20T08:13:00.000-08:00

If you're going to ask me a work-related question and I'm in the middle of answering it, DO NOT tell me to "shut up" because my guy supervisor in the other room has "the best story ever to tell." Esp. since they aren't good stories and completely don't matter when it comes to work.

And after the story, SO DO NOT ask me, "So what were you saying?" 'Cause what I'll do is say figure it out yourself. Which I did.

New Orleans today

2006-03-18T07:17:00.000-08:00

I wrote this for myself awhile back... I just feel like posting it now.

*********************************************************************************

They aren't kidding when they say photos don't do it justice. That's because the things that make it feel so off are experienced in other ways. Like being the only car for block after block. Like seeing crows picking at ....I don't want to know. The undending silence that becomes so loud you yourself want to scream to break the monotony.

Then you drive a few more blocks and the streets are filled with raucous crowds who glitter as they move from the beads the all wear. The parades are loud enough to make you deaf and everywhere you go you see people going about the business of living.

Like I said, complete dichotomy.

But after being with the people for awhile, you start sensing the underlying changes the city has undergone. The random streetlight that's out. The lack of high school bands. The paint on the front of houses. The favorite restuarant that isn't open. The grocery stores closing at 6 PM. It's like the dead part of the city is creeping into the living part to ensure that people remember. That's why the people who live there now act almost frenetic, as if by partying harder they can show the world just how alive they are.

New Jobs Redux

2006-03-15T08:45:00.000-08:00

So, Bubbles has a job! Thank goodness. She can leave and go attempt to practice law elsewhere and get out of my hair.

The offer was extended, she's going to quit, but it's contingent on her becoming barred in DC (They give her several months). Since she can't be barred here, she'll be fired there.

All the other temps have interviews soon too, but they are places I would never consider working at. So, soon it'll be me and my supervisor sitting around here. Which will involve me hearing alot of stories about his school, etc. Ah well. I can stand it. Maybe I'll get a raise.

Other People's New Jobs

2006-03-11T06:32:00.000-08:00

So one of my supervisors has a new job. She hasn't told our boss yet becuase he'll most likely hit the roof. But listening to her tell about it, it sounds pretty bad. She's working at [BigLawFirm] supervising paralegals. Not as an associate, of counsel, or staff attorney. Just as staff. And she has to be there at 8 every morning (with us, 10 - 11 is a good start time for her when we get there at 8)

What I don't understand is that she's incredibly smug about this. And to celebrate, what did she do? Bought a cartier watch. Not that I'm against them, but she has one and a rolex. So, why spend money when your accountant told you that you owe the IRS tens of thousands of dollars for failure to pay taxes for two years at all? My mind just can't wrap around this.

Craziness

2006-03-08T17:33:00.000-08:00

Yes. I know I've been bad about posting lately. But I've been crazy busy and a little sick (the I-come-home-and-go-to-bed-at-8:30-PM sort of sick).

Work is still driving me slowly mad. There were five new attorneys to train the day I got back. The competant one was fired since she gave a week's notice that she had a permanent position. One boy is OK (Except for the wheezing and spit bubbles), while the other is just...bad at this job. And the other two girls are friends of Bubbles. And act like it. The noise can defean you. (Note to Blonde Law: Chup-a-cobra lives! Please shoot me.)

Oh, and the girly girls (they are now a pack and get a name for the whole, besides their names rhyme and I can't tell them apart) are crazy vegatarians. Sorry, frutarians. This means that they only eat fruit (and peanuts and soy nuts - no I don't know why they think they are fruits). Luckily, wearing leather is OK. And fur is bad. Good to have that cleared up. But if they tell me it's wrong to have a Lean Cuisine for lunch again, I'll give them more of my death stare and start talking about Kobe beef. Not that they don't already want to kill me for pointing out that reading the documents we are working on is a good thing. Not to mention coding them right. Honestly, you'd think they were trained by someone who is never bothered to got sworn in as an active attorney (smacks head). But that would never, ever happen.

All I need at this point is for the guy in the back with me (Wheezy) to move to the front room and leave me alone with my computers in the back. I can still code more than the rest combined (it's not hard to beat 14 documents a day per person when the goal is 100-150).

In brighter news, it looks like I have a position starting in May at the PDs office. But this guy who I applied to work for a while ago is also expressing interest in me. Since he has a kick-butt criminal practice, it might work out. But I think I would rather do the PD for experience. Ah, well. We'll see. At least my days are numbered.

I've been working on some posts about my trip, but I don't know if I'll ever publish them. I certainly won't without some major editing. The trip was very raw and emotionally draining in good and bad ways.

Hi

2006-03-02T05:22:00.000-08:00

Well all, I'm back from New Orleans. Crazy, wonderful, sad trip. I'll give details later.

While I was gone, Bubbles actually had two interviews with the federal government, one of which was a job that I think I applied for as well. ::boggle:: Also, she's given up Starbucks but not coffee for Lent, which doesn't really work because it's Starbucks brand here. I guess she's trying to save money or something.

Five new people are starting today. Bubbles saw their resumes while I was gone and commented on them. Not good.

Oh, and a former co-worker emailed me and asked me out for coffee. Very odd. I'm wondering if a simple "no" would work, or maybe I should be more elaborate, like: "No, you sleep in bathtubs and I just celebrated an anniversary with my boyfriend! Oh and weren't you engaged?"

Kiss Kiss, Bye Bye

2006-02-23T12:14:00.000-08:00

See you all next week - I'm going away for a vacation!

Keys

2006-02-22T04:42:00.000-08:00

Today I'm going to inform Bubbles that she's not having my key for a variety of reasons, including:

1) I need it when I get back
2) She's untrustworthy and unreliable
3) She already lost one set before ever using it
4) She can use one of the other two sets in the office while I'm gone
5) I just don't care about making her life inconvenient in any way

Of course, I'm not going to tell her all of these reasons. Nope, I'm just going to tell her I'm not going to let her have mine since I need them when I come back. It's a stupid, silly, selfish reason, so it should be perfect for her. When in reality, I don't trust her to come in late on purpose just to make me mad. Oh, and I would never see the key again. And since I get here at 7:45, and she drags in at 8:15 on a good day, not going to happen.

ETA: Her response was that she didn't care, that she would ask one of the supervisors to ORDER me to give her the keys.

I'm exercising all of my self-control to not hurt her. It's very difficult.

ETA: WOOT! I win! I keep my key! My strategy of going to the bathroom when she brought it up worked. Someone else gave her a key. :)

Have Law Degree, Don't Read

2006-02-21T08:14:00.000-08:00

It appears that Bubbles believes that she is going to work at the Office of the Attorney General. This is based on the fact that she applied before the deadline. But she only wants to work there because she wants to use her legal degree before she marries [boyfriend of less than three months].

A few problems for Bubbles:
1) She doesn't qualify under the honors program, since she graduated and not in school / clerking
2) She doesn't qualify as an experienced attorney, since she graduated less than a year ago
3) She's not really barred since she opted for inactive status for her state bar (and thus, is doing wrong every day by practicing as a licenced attorney).
4) She mentioned in her essay that she was only going to work until boyfriend proposed.

But she's "gonna be a shoe-in because she keeps track of Law & Order." :)

My Hat

2006-02-21T05:12:00.000-08:00

Sadly, today on the metro some man stole my hat.

It was a nice hat, but not super special - just a little black knit hat.

I was standing in front of the doors, waiting for them to open, when I felt something brush my head. I thought it was normal jostling until I got out and my hat was gone.

Thinking back, I can remember the hat being taken off my head.

Now, while I'm mad about the hat, I am incensed at Metro. I went to report it as a lost item - maybe he threw it on the floor, maybe he didn't mean to take it, etc. The station manager told me that he wouldn't stop the train for me. I explained that I didn't expect that, I just wanted to file a report. His answer? Come back in three days and check to see if it's here because I can't be bothered to do that right now.

What was so important that he couldn't be interrupted? He was joking with his buddy who had a trash can about girls with big jugs. Lovely.

"Where's My Coffee?"

2006-02-21T05:10:00.000-08:00

Such were the words of Bubbles this morning as she walked in the door after being away. She then pouted and asked, "What's with the [bleep] computer? Why would you move mine?"

I refrained from pointing out that 1) I do not drink nor make coffee 2) I didn't move her computer 3) I don't care what she thinks. I also refrained from shoving her into a wall. So that was good.

Now she's in the other room, eating a huge bag of chips. At 8 in the morning. Joy.

I Can't Believe It

2006-02-19T08:14:00.000-08:00

Today, I was talking to my dad about his citations. they were really bad, so I told him to use his Bluebook index (it's the legal citation manual).

My father, an attorney since I've been little, asks me: "What's Bluebook?"

Turns out he not only doesn't own one, he's never heard of it!

And we won't even go to the conversation on Black's Law Dictionary and how it's not binding...

Lordy!

One Day, Three Meltdowns - What More Could a Girl Want?

2006-02-18T19:56:00.000-08:00

So today, there were three meltdowns in my life. And no, I did not have any of them

Meltdown #1: My dad.

Somehow, I ended up helping him edit his brief due Tuesday to the court. Problems include: he leaves town Monday and it SUCKS. Big time. Reminding my dad of bluebook = not fun. He kept telling me I was overloading my brain (I think he meant his though).

Meltdown #2: My student.

After class, two boys were playing in the corner. One puts the other in a headlock and makes him pass out. He falls to the floor, completely unconscious, about an hour before his brother picks him up to go skiing. Crap. Oh, and his brother? Dating my younger sister.

To make things better, the two boys went home, where the hurt one through a hissy fit and shut himself into the bathroom. My mom tried to get him to come out, but finally got tired out and left.

Meltdown #3: My cat.

My boyfriend and I noticed that one of the cats had a sore on her leg. We took her to the vet who said: 1) Cat is allergic to her food and is getting a rash on body that makes her itch and 2) Cat is stressed and licking the rash to the point where the fur is coming off.

On the bright side, the vet was somewhat helpful. She gave us a baby dropper and medicine that we have to force down the cat's throat twice a day. She also told us to make sure she avoids stress. Now, I don't know about you, but I think that the baby dropper shoved in her throat will stress her to the point that she'll be completely bald by the end of the week. Oh, and visiting my family while we go to New Orleans - that will be great for her too, since they have dogs and kids and wet paint and who knows what else.

So, in sum, I paid $80 to find out that the cat is neurotic. Somehow, I think I knew that around the time the cat started wanting to take showers with me. It was like a red flag of sorts.

And then there were two

2006-02-17T05:42:00.000-08:00

So today is the last day for at least two people in the office (possibly the penultimate day for another). So that leaves two of us in the office.

Lucky for me, the person I find most annoying is the one staying. Happy fun for me.

In other news, I am going on vacation next week, leaving her to code alone from Thursday on. :)

Crazy Momma

2006-02-16T05:58:00.000-08:00

So one of the studio teachers called my mother yesterday about not being able to teach - 30 minutes before class started!

So my poor mom had to teach hip-hop. My mom, who has trouble with the words "butt" and "suck." My mom, who thinks that Vanilla Ice is big in the hip-hop world.

My boyfriend said we should have taken a camera and sent it in to America's Funniest Home Videos. From what my mom told me about how class went, I think we missed out on our chance.

To Men in My Office

2006-02-14T12:16:00.000-08:00

From now on, please do the following:

1) Flush
2) If toilet overflows or gets stopped, do NOT leave it for the next person. Kindly tell someone or fix it.

Thank you.

Getting Up

2006-02-14T05:51:00.000-08:00

In the morning, when you are sleepy, make sure you hit the snooze button and not the "turn the clock off button." This helps prevent you from waking up at the time you normally leave your house.

I managed to shower, brush my teeth and hair, dress, and pack up [after my boyfriend made me breakfast, which I ate in the car as he drove me in :)] in less than 15 minutes. Not bad, considering.

What a Weekend

2006-02-13T05:09:00.000-08:00

So, this weekend we got about 12 inches of snow. Luckily, we kept power and all, but we had to cancel dance class this weekend (which I hate to do, means I have to do makeups). It's OK, though, because the LEAD in the show has mono and will miss a month of class. Not like that'll interfere with her dancing, right? Sure. So a month of rehearsals without a lead. I'm going to have to be creative.

I also learned not to put your cat in the snow. Cats in snow yell and bite to get back inside, even when they really, really wanted to go out when inside. Just a friendly public service announcement.

I've Created a Monster

2006-02-09T05:53:00.000-08:00

My mother, blessed as she is with many gifts, has never been good with technology. Her friends complain that she still doesn't know how to check her voicemail. The concept of "minutes" on the cell phone eludes her - as does the fact that it's a different number than the house phone.

Needless to say, computers and the internet are not her strong point. A few years back, I left her alone with the computer when she was trying to type something. When I came back, she had cut the mouse cord and BURIED THE THING IN THE BACKYARD, complete with gravestone (I guess she's a little eccentric, but I digress).

Anyhow, so I've been working with her on how to email people, mostly to make her stop calling me at work. I've set up her account, showed her how to use it, and I check it for her too to make sure that if she needs to see something, I can call and tell her to check.

She recently sent me an email asking me a question about the dance school, and added at the bottom a comment about a co-worker at my temp job (I've been telling her some stories, which those of you who knew me before my blog was eaten know are super funny). Good thing I use nicknames for them with her, because she took my reply and forwarded it to the WHOLE DANCE SCHOOL.

So now all of these parents have an email from her talking about "Bubbles" (former cheerleader's new, self-given nickname) and how she hopes she gets fired soon! I'm so very, very glad I didn't put anything about her in my reply.

I also need to explain to her that those chain letters people send you aren't real. Or at least not to forward them to all of her students and (more importantly) me.

What?

2006-02-09T05:44:00.000-08:00

According to Justice is Blonde, today one of our supervisors took a cab from the Metro to work today. Which would be normal, except that he had the cab drop him off a block away so he could LOOK like he had walked from the Metro.

His reasoning? It's too cold to walk.

But it's warm enough to make us THINK that he walked. Since we care so much.

Avoid 'em like the PLAGUE

2006-02-08T06:50:00.000-08:00

So, in my criminal defense CLE last night, the speaker was talking about the three people you never want on your jury:

1) Police / Law enforcement

2) Military

3) Engineers

Apparently, engineers don't go off on tangents and can see through "blue smoke and mirrors." You should try to get:

1) Artsy types

2) JDs who never practiced law

3) People wearing odd clothes (bow tie, weird watch)

These people "have great fantasy lives." So, they don't pay attention to what you're saying.

Of course, he was talking about cases where you have no defense except that the state 1) didn't prove all elements and / or 2) is using snitches as witnesses. He said that if you have a case with an actual defense, the above wouldn't apply. ;)

I'm Back!

2006-02-07T10:33:00.000-08:00

Hey All-

Sorry it's been so long, but after the internet ate my blog (sadness), I got the flu. Oh, and I got to have my wisdom teeth removed too. (Two of my students got theirs out too, so we got to share war stories).

The cycle of temping continues. Some people have left, some have come back, some are leaving soon. My bosses just discovered that one of the people here isn't actually sworn in (the girl thinks this is a minor detail, but they seem...perturbed). We'll see how this develops. ;)

Wondering

2006-01-31T05:26:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt like running away, crying uncontrollably?

I give up

2006-01-27T12:04:00.000-08:00

I was trying to make a new post but somehow the server crashed and the whole blog was deleted. Like, totally and completely gone.

::sigh::

I SO give up.