Thursday, February 23, 2006 

Kiss Kiss, Bye Bye

See you all next week - I'm going away for a vacation!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 


Today I'm going to inform Bubbles that she's not having my key for a variety of reasons, including:

1) I need it when I get back
2) She's untrustworthy and unreliable
3) She already lost one set before ever using it
4) She can use one of the other two sets in the office while I'm gone
5) I just don't care about making her life inconvenient in any way

Of course, I'm not going to tell her all of these reasons. Nope, I'm just going to tell her I'm not going to let her have mine since I need them when I come back. It's a stupid, silly, selfish reason, so it should be perfect for her. When in reality, I don't trust her to come in late on purpose just to make me mad. Oh, and I would never see the key again. And since I get here at 7:45, and she drags in at 8:15 on a good day, not going to happen.

ETA: Her response was that she didn't care, that she would ask one of the supervisors to ORDER me to give her the keys.

I'm exercising all of my self-control to not hurt her. It's very difficult.

ETA: WOOT! I win! I keep my key! My strategy of going to the bathroom when she brought it up worked. Someone else gave her a key. :)

Tuesday, February 21, 2006 

Have Law Degree, Don't Read

It appears that Bubbles believes that she is going to work at the Office of the Attorney General. This is based on the fact that she applied before the deadline. But she only wants to work there because she wants to use her legal degree before she marries [boyfriend of less than three months].

A few problems for Bubbles:
1) She doesn't qualify under the honors program, since she graduated and not in school / clerking
2) She doesn't qualify as an experienced attorney, since she graduated less than a year ago
3) She's not really barred since she opted for inactive status for her state bar (and thus, is doing wrong every day by practicing as a licenced attorney).
4) She mentioned in her essay that she was only going to work until boyfriend proposed.

But she's "gonna be a shoe-in because she keeps track of Law & Order." :)


My Hat

Sadly, today on the metro some man stole my hat.

It was a nice hat, but not super special - just a little black knit hat.

I was standing in front of the doors, waiting for them to open, when I felt something brush my head. I thought it was normal jostling until I got out and my hat was gone.

Thinking back, I can remember the hat being taken off my head.

Now, while I'm mad about the hat, I am incensed at Metro. I went to report it as a lost item - maybe he threw it on the floor, maybe he didn't mean to take it, etc. The station manager told me that he wouldn't stop the train for me. I explained that I didn't expect that, I just wanted to file a report. His answer? Come back in three days and check to see if it's here because I can't be bothered to do that right now.

What was so important that he couldn't be interrupted? He was joking with his buddy who had a trash can about girls with big jugs. Lovely.


"Where's My Coffee?"

Such were the words of Bubbles this morning as she walked in the door after being away. She then pouted and asked, "What's with the [bleep] computer? Why would you move mine?"

I refrained from pointing out that 1) I do not drink nor make coffee 2) I didn't move her computer 3) I don't care what she thinks. I also refrained from shoving her into a wall. So that was good.

Now she's in the other room, eating a huge bag of chips. At 8 in the morning. Joy.

Sunday, February 19, 2006 

I Can't Believe It

Today, I was talking to my dad about his citations. they were really bad, so I told him to use his Bluebook index (it's the legal citation manual).

My father, an attorney since I've been little, asks me: "What's Bluebook?"

Turns out he not only doesn't own one, he's never heard of it!

And we won't even go to the conversation on Black's Law Dictionary and how it's not binding...


Saturday, February 18, 2006 

One Day, Three Meltdowns - What More Could a Girl Want?

So today, there were three meltdowns in my life. And no, I did not have any of them

Meltdown #1: My dad.

Somehow, I ended up helping him edit his brief due Tuesday to the court. Problems include: he leaves town Monday and it SUCKS. Big time. Reminding my dad of bluebook = not fun. He kept telling me I was overloading my brain (I think he meant his though).

Meltdown #2: My student.

After class, two boys were playing in the corner. One puts the other in a headlock and makes him pass out. He falls to the floor, completely unconscious, about an hour before his brother picks him up to go skiing. Crap. Oh, and his brother? Dating my younger sister.

To make things better, the two boys went home, where the hurt one through a hissy fit and shut himself into the bathroom. My mom tried to get him to come out, but finally got tired out and left.

Meltdown #3: My cat.

My boyfriend and I noticed that one of the cats had a sore on her leg. We took her to the vet who said: 1) Cat is allergic to her food and is getting a rash on body that makes her itch and 2) Cat is stressed and licking the rash to the point where the fur is coming off.

On the bright side, the vet was somewhat helpful. She gave us a baby dropper and medicine that we have to force down the cat's throat twice a day. She also told us to make sure she avoids stress. Now, I don't know about you, but I think that the baby dropper shoved in her throat will stress her to the point that she'll be completely bald by the end of the week. Oh, and visiting my family while we go to New Orleans - that will be great for her too, since they have dogs and kids and wet paint and who knows what else.

So, in sum, I paid $80 to find out that the cat is neurotic. Somehow, I think I knew that around the time the cat started wanting to take showers with me. It was like a red flag of sorts.

Friday, February 17, 2006 

And then there were two

So today is the last day for at least two people in the office (possibly the penultimate day for another). So that leaves two of us in the office.

Lucky for me, the person I find most annoying is the one staying. Happy fun for me.

In other news, I am going on vacation next week, leaving her to code alone from Thursday on. :)

Thursday, February 16, 2006 

Crazy Momma

So one of the studio teachers called my mother yesterday about not being able to teach - 30 minutes before class started!

So my poor mom had to teach hip-hop. My mom, who has trouble with the words "butt" and "suck." My mom, who thinks that Vanilla Ice is big in the hip-hop world.

My boyfriend said we should have taken a camera and sent it in to America's Funniest Home Videos. From what my mom told me about how class went, I think we missed out on our chance.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 

To Men in My Office

From now on, please do the following:

1) Flush
2) If toilet overflows or gets stopped, do NOT leave it for the next person. Kindly tell someone or fix it.

Thank you.


Getting Up

In the morning, when you are sleepy, make sure you hit the snooze button and not the "turn the clock off button." This helps prevent you from waking up at the time you normally leave your house.

I managed to shower, brush my teeth and hair, dress, and pack up [after my boyfriend made me breakfast, which I ate in the car as he drove me in :)] in less than 15 minutes. Not bad, considering.

Monday, February 13, 2006 

What a Weekend

So, this weekend we got about 12 inches of snow. Luckily, we kept power and all, but we had to cancel dance class this weekend (which I hate to do, means I have to do makeups). It's OK, though, because the LEAD in the show has mono and will miss a month of class. Not like that'll interfere with her dancing, right? Sure. So a month of rehearsals without a lead. I'm going to have to be creative.

I also learned not to put your cat in the snow. Cats in snow yell and bite to get back inside, even when they really, really wanted to go out when inside. Just a friendly public service announcement.

Thursday, February 09, 2006 

I've Created a Monster

My mother, blessed as she is with many gifts, has never been good with technology. Her friends complain that she still doesn't know how to check her voicemail. The concept of "minutes" on the cell phone eludes her - as does the fact that it's a different number than the house phone.

Needless to say, computers and the internet are not her strong point. A few years back, I left her alone with the computer when she was trying to type something. When I came back, she had cut the mouse cord and BURIED THE THING IN THE BACKYARD, complete with gravestone (I guess she's a little eccentric, but I digress).

Anyhow, so I've been working with her on how to email people, mostly to make her stop calling me at work. I've set up her account, showed her how to use it, and I check it for her too to make sure that if she needs to see something, I can call and tell her to check.

She recently sent me an email asking me a question about the dance school, and added at the bottom a comment about a co-worker at my temp job (I've been telling her some stories, which those of you who knew me before my blog was eaten know are super funny). Good thing I use nicknames for them with her, because she took my reply and forwarded it to the WHOLE DANCE SCHOOL.

So now all of these parents have an email from her talking about "Bubbles" (former cheerleader's new, self-given nickname) and how she hopes she gets fired soon! I'm so very, very glad I didn't put anything about her in my reply.

I also need to explain to her that those chain letters people send you aren't real. Or at least not to forward them to all of her students and (more importantly) me.



According to Justice is Blonde, today one of our supervisors took a cab from the Metro to work today. Which would be normal, except that he had the cab drop him off a block away so he could LOOK like he had walked from the Metro.

His reasoning? It's too cold to walk.

But it's warm enough to make us THINK that he walked. Since we care so much.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006 

Avoid 'em like the PLAGUE

So, in my criminal defense CLE last night, the speaker was talking about the three people you never want on your jury:

1) Police / Law enforcement

2) Military

3) Engineers

Apparently, engineers don't go off on tangents and can see through "blue smoke and mirrors." You should try to get:

1) Artsy types

2) JDs who never practiced law

3) People wearing odd clothes (bow tie, weird watch)

These people "have great fantasy lives." So, they don't pay attention to what you're saying.

Of course, he was talking about cases where you have no defense except that the state 1) didn't prove all elements and / or 2) is using snitches as witnesses. He said that if you have a case with an actual defense, the above wouldn't apply. ;)

Tuesday, February 07, 2006 

I'm Back!

Hey All-

Sorry it's been so long, but after the internet ate my blog (sadness), I got the flu. Oh, and I got to have my wisdom teeth removed too. (Two of my students got theirs out too, so we got to share war stories).

The cycle of temping continues. Some people have left, some have come back, some are leaving soon. My bosses just discovered that one of the people here isn't actually sworn in (the girl thinks this is a minor detail, but they seem...perturbed). We'll see how this develops. ;)